I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
