East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just google imaged poop.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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