No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
