he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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