hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
