that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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