it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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