I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
