just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
