I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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