You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
