I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
