From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
