We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
