end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
