we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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