I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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