she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
