and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
