it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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