apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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