A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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