just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
