She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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