Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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