Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
