going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
