Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
