need another drink. this is the easiest way
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
