i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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