it hurts more in the daytime
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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