I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
