You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
