Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im six kinds of drunk right now
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
