3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
