OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
