Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
