she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Randomize
