he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
