she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
