And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
