Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
