think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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