I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
