talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
