I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
