Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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