Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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