Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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