after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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