they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
