i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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